My Cat has a Personality Disorder

You might remember when I bought The Kitten home - if you weren't following my blog back then, you can see his cute kitten photos here. He was lovely, super cuddly, adorable, totally worth fussing over. Oddly, he has grown up in to what many describe as "the worst pet cat they've never met".
A while back I published a post for anyone thinking of getting a cat, especially for the first time, with a few things to consider. I made a point of saying in that post, that it's no good getting a cat because you want it to sit on your lap every evening when you watch movies, or to curl up adorably next to your computer keyboard when you're working. Cats are unpredictable, and you can do very little to decide which character traits they'll display, or indeed, how much they'll like you. The Kitten is proof that you can't mould a cat, even by bringing your new pet home very young.
The Kitten's Mum was captured by cat rescue volunteers, already pregnant. Given her attitude towards people, it was assumed that she was a long-term, or perhaps life-long stray, and had given birth to previous litters. The Kitten, thankfully, was one of three kittens to break the cycle, and be born in the care of the rescue charity, surrounded by human love and kindness. His Mother was rehomed though whether she actually stayed with her new family I've no idea, but The Kitten had no reason to reject the idea of cohabiting with people, he'd never known any different. I should perhaps have been alarmed when one of the triplets, his sister, managed to escape from their foster home at 10 weeks old and drag back a dead wood pigeon (no idea if she actually killed it - but none the less, it was much bigger than her... and she was eating it when discovered.) I wonder now if those three kittens, despite being born indoors, safe, warm and properly cared for - were born wild none the less.
These days, The Kitten is beyond socially retarded. He hates almost everyone except me. If Seb walks in to the room he immediately drops to the ground and hisses defensively (Seb isn't bothered and still convinced that they're good friends) whilst he just avoids anybody else. Boyfriend has had limited success in attempting to build a relationship with him, but his typical behaviour upon seeing anyone (often including me) is to freeze momentarily, before making a frenzied sprint for one of his many hiding places - The Kitten that is, not Boyfriend.

These hiding places are genius. We live in a two bedroom flat, and yet I still have absolutely no idea where he is a lot of the time. I can spend ages searching the flat for him, looking under furniture, behind furniture, in toy boxes, only for him to skulk out later, suspiciously looking around the place as he makes a nervous run for his food bowl. 
If you knew no different, you'd assume that The Kitten had been horrifically abused. It isn't just people who terrify him, the entire world terrifies him. He doesn't like the sound of the telephone, the sound of the doorbell, the sound of the vacuum cleaner, the sound of the toilet being flushed, the sound of the boiler, the sound of me putting plates away or the sound of anybody's voice, ideally he would live alone, in monastic silence.
I said earlier that he hates everyone but me, however there are occasions when even I am a sworn enemy. If anyone else is in the flat, including Seb, Boyfriend, or anyone who might be considered a regular visitor, he treats me as though I've ultimately betrayed him. Sometimes, even when it's just me and the cats in the flat (and I'm not making any noise) - I can expect nothing more than a sideways glance as he runs by.
Oddly, however, he's not aggressive, nervous yes, but he's never shown anyone a claw. He also has no problems what so ever with intra-species relationships and he and Bucket get along just fine. In fact, in their cat domain, The Kitten is by far the more dominant, and Bucket largely does as he's told, especially when it comes to sharing food. People however, people he can not do.
I'm starting to wonder whether I need a cat whisperer. I have plenty of success on my own, daily grooming seems to be having a positive effect on him (but only with me, and not with anyone else) but it is becoming increasingly apparent that this is just the cat he is. May this be a warning, however, to anybody who plans to get a cat because they have certain expectations as to how that cat will behave (offer a home to an adult cat, that way you'll know what they're like with the peoples!)
It's a shame because he's an unbelievably good looking creature he's so handsome, but only about four people have seen him this year!  

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