Why We Didn't Find Out Baby's Gender (and our Gender Guess)

Everyone seems utterly convinced that Baby is going to be a girl! My best friend actively hopes Baby is a girl, whilst her Mum and Aunt who are visiting from India have studied the shape of bump, the behaviour of my bellybutton and the state of my skin and also declared that we have a daughter on the way. My hairdresser, and a stranger who happened to be getting her hair done in the same salon at the same time last week, both agreed that I'm carrying a girl on what I look like from behind, and one of Seb's best friends at school, who only noticed that I'm getting a bit fat this week, has put his bet on Seb having a sister too. In fact, Seb is the only person still adamant that we refer to Baby as "he", but as a five year old boy, it's pretty standard that he should show a preference for having a matching, as opposed to contrasting sibling.
 
And us? We're pretty much convinced girl too. I should add that I thought that Seb was a girl before finding out his gender during an ultrasound scan - so my gut instincts can't really be trusted!
 
 
 
As well as me already having Seb, Boyfriend has two sons already, who're fifteen and eleven, so it's safe to say that boys are our familiar common ground. We get boys; tiny boys, middle sized boys, teenage boys, that's our normal, that's what we've practiced - so a girl would certainly be a whole different experience for us both, even considering ourselves relatively successful parents already!
 
Of course in a way, this would make a girl something of a blessing, but she'd be no more special really than had she been a boy. I guess it would be nice, being our only baby together if she were mine and Boyfriend's only daughter; but what will be will be, and whilst we're all none the wiser - Baby already has everything that will make him/her either male or female anyway.
 
Whilst Boyfriend and I both suspect that Baby is a girl (based on nothing but instinct and guess work) that's not to say that we're hoping for a daughter; I believe I speak for both of us when I say that we honestly wouldn't mind either way. As the old cliché goes "as long as he or she is healthy, then we're happy." I think the only difference is that if I give birth to a girl, we'll have a sense of "told you so" going on, whereas a boy might receive a more surprised response (from everyone except Seb!)
 
We decided pretty early on not to find out Baby's gender, and luckily we were both entirely agreed on this from Day 1 of discussing it. As I mentioned, I did find out that Seb was a boy before he was born, and it had it's advantages to a degree, but Boyfriend and his ex-wife didn't set out to discover the gender of either of their boys before they were born and so the concept is somewhat odd to him anyway!
 
Part of me hadn't wanted to find out whether Seb was a boy or girl last time, but when the sonographer turned to me five years ago and said "sorry, did you want to know the gender?" - in that moment, she effectively told me that she knew something that I didn't - and that drove me mad! I'm glad that I found out Seb's gender, I was single, young, and in no way prepared to become a parent, and I know that it helped me to better accept him as a tiny person about to enter the world. I bought him boy-specific things, I chose his name, these things helped me in a way to bond with him as an unborn child.
 
This time around, as a combined result of finding out about my pregnancy earlier, being in a super loving relationship with Baby's Dad - with whom I can share worries and excitement, being five years older, and already having enjoyed parenthood - I've developed a bomb proof bond with Baby without needing to know whether he/she is a boy or a girl.
 
For us, whilst the odds are only 50/50 either way, finding out Baby's gender is just one of the magical moments that we can look forward to at their birth, and I'm really excited that we'll make that discovery at the awesome moment that he/she enters the world. It'll be worth the wait, I'm absolutely certain of it.
 

2 comments:

  1. I really wanted the suprise too but my husband really wanted to know as he said it would help him create a bond. So on the day when the lady asked i looked at him and he said it was my choice but I said yes as I knew who much he wanted to. But I am glad I did for him as it made a huge difference and he went straight out and bought an outfit and finally opened the baby names book, so it was worth it that way but how awesome will it be on the day when you get that lovely surprise. Best surprise ever. plus it hasnt been a bad thing knowing, just like knowing you are getting something cool for christmas but then having to wait lol.

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  2. That's actually mine too. So, I took help of natural gender selection by desiredbaby.com. It confidently ensures the baby's gender and also helps to conceive a baby of desired gender.

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